Well, I don’t know why, Lord.

Maybe you are not like me and you normally make good decisions, or at least don’t make the same bad ones twice.  Too many times I give in to temptation knowing I’m going to be guilt ridden later, but I do it anyway.  

Later, I exhaust myself thinking about what a stupid that decision was, how it accomplished nothing good, it wasn’t worth it (like any sinful or bad choice is ever “worth it”). No matter how much I dwell on it, I have no explanation for why my brain and body were in the gear of “Go” instead of “No!” Finally, I stop my obsessing about why and say, “I don’t know why, Lord!” But those five little words are packed with guilt and the shame of failure.   If we have repented, holding on to guilt or not forgiving ourselves weighs us down until we stay where we are and grow stagnant, even though God has forgiven us. Accept His forgiveness and move on.

Sometimes I amaze myself…actually, I dismay myself…with how little effort I put into not following through with a sinful idea before it becomes an action…and I’m not just talking about gluttony. It hit me one day: I have to guard what I am thinking about at all times so that when I am at the crossroad of Good and Bad Decisions, I have integrity before the Lord with the choices I make.

Instead of: “I know I shouldn’t, but I’m going to do it this one (more) time.” I will say:  “I know I shouldn’t, so I am not going to.”

By the way, the stinking thinking that put us at the crossroad where we make those wrong decisions didn’t just suddenly crop up out of nowhere.  We were entertaining things we should have taken authority over long before we got to that point.