Author: Margaret

Christian, justice seeker, truth chaser, freedom walker, word-nerd, self-proclaimed poetess and writer...

2019 Word of the Year…

MargaretLeave a comment

For the last six years, I have shared a Word of the Year.   Last year, it was “New,” and God did do a new thing for me, something I will be sharing in the days to come.

The word for 2019 is “Stewardship.”  A few weeks ago as I was praying for strength and wisdom to become a better steward of all that God has given me, it occurred to me that I should use it as the Word of the Year.   Then suddenly, I was hearing and seeing the word everywhere.  The preacher mentioned it…I heard it on a video, I read it on some obscure post somewhere.  Funny how confirmation works, isn’t it?

In the past, my words of the year, I felt, were mostly for me.
This one, I believe, is for all of us.

You may be wondering about the scripture choice for the word “Stewardship.”  My other choice was Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”  I chose “Seek My face” because it is more personal…to seek His face is to seek the very presence of God.   If we are in His presence, we are going to be aware of His goodness, and we will strive to be good stewards of all He gives us.  In His presence, we will want more of Him and less of ourselves.  Its funny the things we will try to hold on to….I suppose that’s a whole post to itself.

What is an area where you could be a better steward in 2019?   It is easy to take for granted all His blessings when we’ve had them all of our lives, never having to be without modern conveniences.  I try to remember to be grateful for simple things, something I’ve come to realize with age is that not everyone can get up out a nice comfortable bed every morning, go take a hot shower, toss wrinkled clothes in a dryer, go to a job they love…I can’t help but wonderful if thankfulness and stewardship go hand in hand.

  • Are we good stewards of His love?   Do we share the Love of the Father with those who have fallen, or do we pass judgment?  Do we help others when we can?   What about when it’s a little inconvenient?
  • Are we good stewards of the freedoms He has provided?  We live in a country where we can openly read the Bible, go to church, pray, all without fear.   Every now and then, we may have to put up with some snide remarks or an insult for our faith…but, so?

Last year, I read the Bible through.   It wasn’t the first time I did it, but it was the first time I really tried to take the time to understand more about what I was reading.  I used two and sometimes three versions to help me understand the more difficult passages.  This year, I plan to try harder to understand what I’m reading.

Have you ever heard that reading the Bible is life-changing?  It really is.  In July of 2017, I made up my mind to endeavor to not miss a day of reading at least some scripture, even if it was just one short chapter.   It wasn’t until just over a year later that I realized that, indeed, He was doing a work in me.  I have so much to tell you!

For now, I want to tell you…to implore you…read the Bible.  Every day.   You don’t have to read it through in a year, though at least once in your life, you should do that!   Just read it.   Start with Psalms.  Or Genesis.  Jonah, Ruth, Esther, Proverbs…all are interesting books!   Or any of the New Testament books.  Just read!

When you come across a verse that speaks to you,
underline it, reread it, memorize it!

Be a good steward of all I am given, be aware of His goodness.  Be grateful for His blessings, every day.  These are my goals for 2019.   Seek His face, His presence.  Seek him first.

Click HERE for previous “Word of the Year” graphics.

Siggy5

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Forgiving My Past

MargaretLeave a comment
Cades Cove 1
Cades Cove

My first marriage was an abusive one. The relationship was brief, thankfully, and I rarely think about what I experienced at his hands. One memory, however, troubles me from time to time, a night of one of his unexpected explosions.

In case you didn’t know it already,
unforgiveness is a sneaky evil. 

We lived in a house that had been made into four apartments, two downstairs, two upstairs. This particular night, the yelling, hitting, and kicking went into the wee hours of the morning until he finally fell asleep. I don’t remember if I slept at all. When he woke up a few hours later, he took my car and went to the store, leaving me a few minutes to escape. I didn’t have a phone, so I ran to my upstairs neighbor to call someone to come and get me. She wouldn’t come to the door. I knocked and knocked…and called to her through the door.

She later told a mutual friend she was afraid to let me in, even though she knew he was gone.  She had heard everything the night before, every person in that quad-plexed house heard it. No one called the police…

Forgiveness2

When I find myself thinking about that night, I find the one I haven’t forgiven is the girl upstairs. Not my tormentor. Her. I’ve had to forgive her many times over the years.

Then there are times like my morning drive to work, when I realize that I just wasted precious God time dwelling on bad experiences.   Yesterday, it was my first-grade teacher, who made my introduction to school a nightmare. Though she died years ago, she is another person I’ve had to forgive many times over the years.  These days, I really don’t know if I’m just remembering, or still harboring resentment; either way, when these moments happen, I ask God to forgive me, and I say “I forgive you, Mrs. Moore.”

Other people have treated me worse than these two women, and I can’t explain why these two experiences still rear their ugly heads these many years later while other bad memories never bother me.  Just as people have offended me, I am certain that I’ve offended others. And just as my two antagonists never thought of me again after our brief encounters, I’m sure I don’t remember every person I’ve hurt.

Cone Flower 2
Cone Flowers, Huntsville Botanical Garden

Unforgiveness stops me from moving forward…
to forgiving my present.

I never took the time to map out my life. I’ve made no plans to accomplish some great feat by the time I reached a certain age, or within so many years. Except to lose weight; that’s always been my goal. I call it “Living in the Future” because my planning has always been centered around “Next summer, when I lose “this much” weight, I will…” but such a next summer never arrived.

With my Christian walk, I’m sad to admit that I can’t say I’m 100% sure what God’s plans for me are.  I think it’s writing until I sit down to write but find mind is too unfocused, and I convince myself that no one wants to read what I write. I think my calling is teaching until someone actually asks me to teach one little ladies class, and my immediate response is, “Nooo!”

It’s easy to fall into a trap of unforgiveness toward myself for being everything I don’t want to be and nothing that I dream of being.  In order to move into the future He has planned for me (Psalm 139:16), I have to come to a place of acceptance of where I am today…I’m not quite there yet!   I have to forgive my inabilities and remember that He doesn’t expect perfection of me!  I am so thankful that His mercies are new each day. 

It doesn’t matter what I’ve never been.
Lord, mold me into what You want me to be.

Siggy5