With today’s technology, information is at our fingertips. I can easily read several translations of Bible passages I am studying. And I Google words…like prodigal. Since childhood, I thought the prodigal son was the one who ran away. Turns out, he didn’t just run away. He was wasteful, reckless, and uncontrolled.
Luke 15:17 tells us the prodigal son “came to himself” while lusting after the pig’s food and he remembered that the hired hands in his dad’s house ate a lot better than he had been eating.
I’m still waiting for the day I come to myself. Not only am I prone to be prodigal with myself, my time, my health, and my thoughts, I desperately need to come to myself in the sense of being a child of God; I need to act like that’s who I am….not because of who I am, but because of who HE is. Be righteous because He is righteous. (1 John 3:6-8)
The problem is…and this is hard for me to talk about because I like to act like I have it all together… but I sometimes feel quite misplaced. Not lost, but in the Kingdom of God, I feel that I don’t really know what my “thing” is. At times, I feel even more misplaced in my daily life. And it’s hard for me to feel loved. It’s not something I can explain, but I finally did realize (well into adulthood) that people do like me. Some of them anyway. Not feeling loved is a pretty lonely thing, and I have no reason for why it is so hard for me. Those inadequacies easily carry over into my relationship with Christ.
There are days I feel ignored by God. Do you ever feel that way? When I am feeling overlooked, I look around at all the ways I am blessed by Him, and I remember that He may not always answer me how I want to be answered, but He is always faithful, even in the face of my faithlessness. I typed a lot more to this post…but I have edited, deleted, rewritten, and spent way more than five minutes writing these 390 words.