My whole life has been ruled by food. When I was a child, some of worst moments centered around food…my being a very picky eater, and my dad being a strict “You eat what’s put before you” no nonsense man. My little daddy is still alive, soon to be 85 years old, and I love him dearly. He and Mom (who just turned 81) raised five children, me being the last. Over the years, he has said that he was a failure as a parent. It breaks my heart, because even though he made mistakes, he is a wonderful man.
I do not have time to digress! I’m only supposed to write for five minutes!
By the time I was 12 or 13, I developed an unhealthy love for junk food, fried food, and sugar. Oh, my love/hate relationship with sugar! And my dad no longer harassed me at the dinner table. As you can imagine, I began to put on weight. Through my teenage years, I yo-yoed the same 30 pounds up and down, up and down. I was tall and big-boned, so I pulled off the 30 pounds without looking grotesque, but I hated my size (not just weight, but height and bone structure, as well) and I certainly felt that I looked grotesque.
The truth is, my life hasn’t been ruled by food or my relationship with it, but my attitude toward myself. Even at my middle age (bordering on old age) it’s not too late to change.
Throughout these 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes, I will be telling a little about this path I’ve walked so long, and the steps in the right direction of getting off this road.
A little poem I wrote several years ago after a ladies conference I attended:
No Suvivor Am I
My worth isn’t measured by my current condition,
Opinions of others, or my present position.
Though my foot may slip, I am not incomplete,
My failures are never my final defeat.
By God’s grace, I’ll dance though the fire,
Knowing by faith I’ll not drown in the mire.
A survivor is never what I shall be,
But a powerful overcomer for others to see.
My suffering, I’ll know, was never in vain,
Seeing someone’s miracle brought out of my pain.
My destiny isn’t sealed by today’s situation;
My current position is not my final destination.