In Quest of My Story

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My whole life has been ruled by food. When I was a child, some of worst moments centered around food…my being a very picky eater, and my dad being a strict “You eat what’s put before you” no nonsense man. My little daddy is still alive, soon to be 85 years old, and I love him dearly. He and Mom (who just turned 81) raised five children, me being the last. Over the years, he has said that he was a failure as a parent. It breaks my heart, because even though he made mistakes, he is a wonderful man.

I do not have time to digress! I’m only supposed to write for five minutes!

By the time I was 12 or 13, I developed an unhealthy love for junk food, fried food, and sugar. Oh, my love/hate relationship with sugar! And my dad no longer harassed me at the dinner table. As you can imagine, I began to put on weight. Through my teenage years, I yo-yoed the same 30 pounds up and down, up and down. I was tall and big-boned, so I pulled off the 30 pounds without looking grotesque, but I hated my size (not just weight, but height and bone structure, as well) and I certainly felt that I looked grotesque.

The truth is, my life hasn’t been ruled by food or my relationship with it, but my attitude toward myself. Even at my middle age (bordering on old age) it’s not too late to change.
Throughout these 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes, I will be telling a little about this path I’ve walked so long, and the steps in the right direction of getting off this road.

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A little poem I wrote several years ago after a ladies conference I attended:

No Suvivor Am I

My worth isn’t measured by my current condition,
Opinions of others, or my present position.
Though my foot may slip, I am not incomplete,
My failures are never my final defeat.
By God’s grace, I’ll dance though the fire,
Knowing by faith I’ll not drown in the mire.
A survivor is never what I shall be,
But a powerful overcomer for others to see.
My suffering, I’ll know, was never in vain,
Seeing someone’s miracle brought out of my pain.
My destiny isn’t sealed by today’s situation;
My current position is not my final destination.

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It’s not too late to join the October 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

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11 thoughts on “In Quest of My Story

  1. So glad you’ve decided to join this challenge, Margaret! I hope it’s a blessing to you in your writing life. As soon as I started reading your post from today, I thought of a book my friend Asheritah Ciuciu wrote, called Full: Food, Jesus, and the Battle for Satisfaction. Have you heard of it? Definitely worth a read. 🙂 All of the best as you take on this challenge!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love how you’ve bookended this post with two opposing statements. It’s like the prose is poetry, too. It’s such a beautifully interesting approach.

    Food is a minefield, for me. Just recently my life took a sharp left, and I went from a lot of insecurity to more security. I noticed that, with food security suddenly in place, I make very different choices. I only just noticed the change, this last weekend. I’m curious to see what effects that has.

    Thank you for bringing up this topic. It’s food for thought. 😉

    Visiting from FMF, mainly because your mug caught my eye, and I love shiny things.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful poetry, Margaret! I kind of understand your dad because I too feel like a failure as a mom, even though my children praise me. I see my flaws and the errors I made in raising them. I see things I wish I could do over. But God offers forgiveness, not do-overs. We must accept His forgiveness and move forward. Someday you may feel this same way about yourself. Don’t. I wish you all the best in the 31-day challenge and in your love/hate relationship with sugar. –Angela, from FMF #48

    Liked by 1 person

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